I wish I knew how much would change after having a baby. Long before I got pregnant, I made a statement: “I will not let my baby (or babies) control my life”. Don’t get me wrong. I always wanted to have big family. My mother has six siblings and I have always enjoyed our huge family meetings. I just didn’t want my life to end after giving birth, as someone would say. Being pregnant was an awesome time. Me – a mother to be, always in the center of attention. So much to talk about with my mum, aunts and other mothers. On the other hand not so much to talk about with old friends. But it was a magical time (I just want to add that I was very lucky – I didn’t experience any nausea or back pains or any unpleasant things like that). And when it finally came to labor… well this is a totally different subject.
I was really prepared. By the time of the labor I had read huge amount of books, we had moved to new house, we had organized a nursery and we had answered every possible question with the right answer. How is it possible that when my son showed up it was such a shock? I don’t know!
I guess I prepared everything except myself. Because babies do control our lives. You can still do anything you want to, you can go wherever you want to go, you can work, have fun, romantic evenings and some time with good book and a cup of tea. But you always have to figure out what will your baby be doing during that time. And it was so overwhelming for me at the beginning. I didn’t have this ability to think about everything. To remember about everything, and to know exactly what was going on when my baby was crying. I felt really insecure because I didn’t know what I was doing.
Children bring our lives to the whole new level, where you are not only responsible for yourself, but also for this little helpless creature. It’s so tiny and fragile, but at the same time it brings so much stuff everywhere it goes. Babies need many things like diapers, powders, baby wipes, pacifiers, formula, bottles, toys, stroller, car seat, spare clothes, bibs and much more. I was always forgetting about something. Thank God you can easily buy some of this stuff.
Having a baby didn’t end my life, but it definitely affected it in the way, that I wasn’t expecting. If you feel the same – don’t worry. You’ll get used to it. Eventually you’ll remember about everything, you’ll learn what your baby means by crying. Just give yourself some time. And take EVERY kind of help that is offered to you. After all, mums are not robots. We (desperately) need some time to relax.